Stop, Think, and Breathe – Managing Anxiety

Anxiety is much like a fire. It can start small, with the slightest ember – maybe it’s exam stress, maybe it’s the breakdown of a relationship or friendship. But the more you feed the fire, the more anxious thoughts the brain lets in, and the larger the fire grows until it becomes all-consuming. 

So, on the theme, there are three things you can do if you notice yourself on fire: stop, drop, and roll. Or in this case: stop, think, and breathe.

An important thing to remember is that, unlike a real fire, stopping anxiety or anxious thoughts once does not mean that it won’t restart.

You could even put out your metaphorical fire for years, but one day out of nowhere, something can spark it alight.

You may never be free from anxiety, but what is important is that you no longer suffer from anxiety. With help from these tools and practice, you can stop these thoughts from intruding your mind on an everyday basis.  

Stop 

Step one: Stop. This may seem obvious but as you may know, anxiety fuels what is called the fight, flight, or freeze pathway. This causes chemicals from the brain to be released in the same way if you needed to run away from a tiger (or a fire).

However, in anxiety, this pathway continues to be active long after the threat has passed. One of these chemicals includes adrenaline, which gets your heart and breathing rate up, readying you to fight the tiger.

This means that during a time of heightened anxiety, a person might rush around, trying to do tasks faster. In response, the other stress hormone, cortisol, is raised in response to meet the activity demand.  

To help slow down, it is important when you feel particularly anxious to take a moment to STOP. This includes making a conscious effort to recognise we are speeding through things and slowing down.

This could include stopping what you are doing and going for a long walk. Alternatively, sit down for a tea and chat to a friend. These activities slow the brain down and help the stress hormone dissipate and break the loop of stress and adrenaline.  

For a child, the family home can be fast-paced and stressful in itself. Perhaps it is running around in the morning trying to find school shoes or arguing about last-minute homework that’s been forgotten. These things too can create a stressful environment that can trigger a cycle of adrenaline and anxiety. As a parent, one way to help an anxious child is to create a calm, slow environment.

This could include leaving a bit more time in the morning to avoid the rush or perhaps sitting down after dinner to watch TV rather than washing up and getting ready for the next day.  

Think 

There’s a whole lot of thinking done in anxiety and anxiety coping mechanisms. Anxiety can progress from being fairly mild to severe by feeding on anxious thoughts. The brain recognises this as a common pathway and builds up to accommodate this. This works both ways and if there are connections in the brain not being used, these can wither away.  

One strategy to help calm down thoughts of anxiety and stress is visualisation. This can be as simple as picturing a beautiful beach with waves crashing onto a shore of golden sand, while dolphins play in the white-crested waves. Feeling calm yet? Practising this can be a great tool to help you in a high-stress or high-anxiety situation.  

Another tool is mindfulness. By now, this may sound like a broken record. One of the first things anyone tells you when you are diagnosed with anxiety is to meditate or practice mindfulness. But what does that really mean? And how can this huge topic of mindfulness be relevant to anxiety?

A common trait of the anxious mind is future planning or worrying about the future. In mindfulness, it is a good aim to focus on the present moment. Techniques such as body scans involve paying attention to parts of the body and how each part feels in a gradual sequence from head to feet.

There are lots of videos or tutorials online that will take you through this. Alternatively, you can do it on your own or lead your child through it. Another technique is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique where you focus on the senses: five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This technique brings attention to the body and the present moment and helps ground you in times of anxiety.  

Breathe  

This comes hand in hand with stopping and slowing down. Taking deep breaths stimulates a key nerve which helps activate the ‘rest and digest part of the nervous system.

This part of the nervous system is in opposition to the fight, flight, or freeze pathway. And so, taking deep breaths in and out can immediately calm down the brain, lower our heart rates, and make you feel calmer. These should be deep, controlled breaths.

Inhale for a count of 4, filling the lungs. Hold for 4 seconds, and slowly release for a count of 8. Now, this can be done any way you like.

There are plenty of apps or videos to help you but practising on a regular basis will help your brain recognise this as a coping mechanism. And while the first time it might take ten minutes of deep breathing to calm anxious thoughts, the next time it might take nine. And eventually, just a few cycles of deep breathing will slow down the brain and stop that continuous loop of stress and anxiety. 

There are many other techniques to help calm anxiety and there are plenty of things to try. There is no one-size-fits-all in mental health and trying different methods will allow you to see what works best for you and help you stop suffering from anxiety and keep putting out your metaphorical fires.