Question from a concerned parent
“My son (9) is so scared of going to bed and someone or something killing him and him being alone .He won’t sleep unless I’m next him and we’re touching I’ve tried everything light on even brought kittens for him to sleep with done breathing exercises. Relaxation he’s calm but if I leave room he willfollow me if he wakes and I’m not there he will go hysterical and won’t go back to sleep for extremelylong time and will wake a lot any suggestions greatly appreciated.”
Answer from Anxend experts
Thank you for your question. It sounds like this is a difficult issue for both of you and is having significant effects across his life. The sleep issue may be just the tip of the iceberg and a symptom ofhis underlying anxiety. From your question it is not clear how long this has been going on or if he hasbeen exposed to any other traumatic events besides being bullied or how badly the bullying has affected him.
Are you aware of any specific reasons that he is having these fears that someone is trying to kill him?How is he getting on at school? It sounds very distressing.
It is good that you have tried to create a relaxing environment for him. Having a relaxing bedtime routine is helpful. Another option you could consider is listening to an audio story book.
Sometimes when we try to create a comforting environment, we can reinforce some behaviours. I am sure that being next to you as he falls asleep is very comforting for him but it is not helping him to learn to sleep on his own. Working out how to help him learn to do this, whilst balancing his distress is not an easy task.
I hope that you are well whilst coping with this stress. If you are struggling it is important to be kind to yourself and get help for yourself as well.You might want to consider our assessment program to consider the underlying issues in more depth and see if Anxend can help you further. It feels like this is much more complicated than “just” a sleep problem. Another option would be to seek help from the NHS.
Gracie Harcombe
Lead Child Coach
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