Anxieties, Goats, and Growing Up: A Family Tale

Anxiety is confusing for everyone, not just the person experiencing it, but for those around them too.

It can be hard to understand the thoughts and behaviour of someone with anxiety if you have no experience of it yourself. You see them overthinking and being reluctant or unable to carry out even simple tasks and you wonder ‘what’s wrong with them?’ or ‘Why are they like this?’. I remember watching my stepsister worry about going to school. I didn’t realise the turmoil anxiety was causing her by overstimulating her brain with adrenaline.

Understanding that when someone is suffering from anxiety, they don’t react to stimuli like someone without anxiety does is really important. Thoughts or events that seem like perceived threats trigger a flight, fight, or freeze response in the body. Hormones, cortisol and adrenaline are released and the brain races while trying to think of ways to escape, creating a panicked feeling.

The amygdala, which is the part of the brain that perceives threats, grows and becomes more sensitive, while the hippocampus, which is the brain's memory centre, shrinks and processes more negative memories. This becomes a vicious cycle that reinforces the anxiety response to harmless stimuli.

This is why those with anxiety find it tough to face certain situations because their brains are biologically different. It’s especially challenging for teenage brains, whose prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed yet, leading them to rely more on their emotional brain before they think logically about situations.

Knowing what is causing someone’s anxiety response doesn’t make it any easier to watch. Seeing someone suffer from anxiety is hard, especially when it's someone you care for deeply. Watching how my stepsister’s anxiety changed her and affected those around her was horrible.

My parents struggled, hating that she was going through this and knowing they couldn’t take her pain away, torn between heavy conversations on what to do and the exhausting search for answers. You might not always know what to do or say to help, but just being there can show your support.

The professionals will help find the right resources for individuals to cope with their anxiety, but what can you do in the meantime? Sitting back and watching while someone is still hurting is not easy, but you can help in other ways!

My stepsister went to appointments with her psychiatrist and took her medicine, which helped manage her anxiety, but when she felt low, my mum brought me colouring books and pencils to use with my stepsister, proving to be a good distraction.

Another thing that really worked for us was a day of goat therapy at a local farm, a favourite of my stepsister's. It involved a lot of walking, some fresh air, and yeah, it did cover my car in mud! Being there for her as a big sister, she could always talk to me, and I could empathise with her situation.

Anxiety can stick around in a family for a long time, sometimes making you feel like it will never get better, or that trying to get help is pointless. But reaching a point where anxiety no longer has a hold on your family is achievable. Coming out the other side of this journey is magical.