You are not alone.

Hi, I am Gracie, and I am the Lead Child Coach at Anxend. My intention every day is to try and make a positive change for those suffering from anxiety disorders and low self-confidence. This became a driving force after I experienced my own battles with anxiety and the journey I took to rebuild my own self-confidence.

I have always had an aspiration to make a difference, and it is a privilege to be a part of Anxend and follow this passion. I want to prevent others from struggling the way I did and show them a way out. I have acquired a wealth of experience both on a personal and professional level to realise my dream of giving as much as I can to as many communities as possible.

Video courtesy cottonbro studio

One of the most important things we, as a team, want you to know is that you are not alone.

No one should suffer in silence. Mental health is one of the biggest issues modern society faces. In the last 5 years, 52% of 17 to 23-year-olds have experienced a deterioration in mental health. (1)

Many of you parents are on the internet looking for answers. You feel trapped in a situation from which you believe you cannot escape, feeling like you are not good enough, helpless, lost, and lonely. Some of you may be lucky enough to never experience this. However, children with anxiety disorders may feel this every day. Parents may be deeply frustrated by waiting times, having to watch helplessly until their child’s condition becomes "bad enough" to be seen and heard. Since 2017, 39.2% of 6 to 16-year-olds have experienced deterioration in mental health. (2) Being able to provide support for families facing this is an incredible feeling for all of us here.

As a parent, you might have witnessed your child’s anxiety worsen over the course of the last few years. Maybe you cannot pinpoint why or where this started and ask yourself, "Was it me?" We feel guilty because we are used to solving problems for our children and are desperate to make them happy again.

Our whole team understands this. We see you, and we recognise your bravery and courage in wanting to find a way forward. We do not work with the child in isolation, we are blessed to be able to work with the whole family. We understand that parents are also feeling the enormous impact of mental health issues and the devastation it has on their own well-being when experiencing a child with anxiety.

I would like to offer you some information on how to spot the early signs of childhood anxiety so that you are able to reach out for help quickly to stop it from escalating and becoming a force that begins to control and disrupt the family home.

First, a disclosure to anyone reading this: there is a broad range of signs and symptoms that a child may experience in the initial stages of childhood anxiety, and they will differ with each individual.

The most common signs are changes that occur within the home environment. An example would be a child's increase in animosity towards family members. This normally results in intense arguments, slamming of doors, or even directed aggressive behaviour. It is important to understand that a child’s pre-frontal cortex, also known as the rational or thinking part of the brain, is not fully developed until they are 23. This, therefore, results in children processing things in the emotional and survival parts of their brain, which is often why they feel so overwhelmed, and they may start saying things like, "You just don’t understand how I'm feeling."

It is challenging when you yourself start to feel the rush of anxiety, waking up not knowing "what mood they are going to be in that day" and sometimes dreading what the day brings. Children will begin to isolate themselves and become increasingly irritable, often reverting to their bedrooms instead of spending time with their families.

When a child is struggling in this way, they stop communicating with you. You start to lose the power to understand the situation. This is when you, as a family, have started to tread on eggshells around your children, just to keep the peace. In the early stages, children start skipping school and losing contact with the outside world. Their anxiety causes them to spend lots of time on their own and on their phones, especially before bed. Children will use their phones as a distraction from the thoughts in their minds. The pressures of social media, school and the world are too much for them to just manage on their own, and they are in desperate need of early intervention.

We understand this is heartbreaking to witness as a parent, but it is not something you have to deal with alone.

Reference list:

First port of call, The Children’s Society, 18 June 2021; https://www.childrenssociety.org.uk/what-we-do/our-work/well-being/mental-health-statistics

Mental Health of Children and Young People in England 2021 ‑ wave 2 follow up, NHS Digital, 30 September 2021; https://www.childrenssociety.org.uk/what-we-do/our-work/well-being/mental-health-statistics

You are not alone.

One of the most important things we, as a team, want you to know is that you are not alone.

Anxiety, children, young people and their families.

Father to an anxious child.