At Christmas, The Best Present Is Being Present

It’s Christmas time and it’s a safe bet that at some point in the day, you’ll see phones in hands scrolling. So, this Christmas we challenge you to give a gift that cost you nothing but is far more significant than anything else – the gift of being present. In our digital age, where countless distractions demand our attention, choosing to be fully engaged and attentive to our loved ones is not just a nicety, it's a necessity.

Being Present

Being present isn’t only about where you are physically; it involves an active and conscious effort to engage in the here and now. It’s about giving our full attention to those around us – listening deeply, responding empathetically, and participating actively in shared experiences. That is as far as we’re comfortable doing, of course, being in touch with ourselves and responsive to what your body is telling you is still being present.

Anxend Team’s Comprehensive Tips for Staying Present

Our team at Anxend are all passionate about mental health and helping families overcome the negative impact of anxiety. Like you and every family out there, we are all different and we each have our ways of staying present, while our methods may differ the outcome is the same. We hope that our team's tips and personal stories below can help you find a way to be present this Christmas and enjoy your time with your loved ones.

Karen Snelson - Parent Coach

Close your eyes and count to 10. Take slow breaths in and out - count to five whilst inhaling through your nose and exhale to the count of 5 through your mouth - feel your stomach expand when inhaling and fully empty when exhaling.

A fun activity for parents to do with their child(ren) is to prepare reindeer food to be scattered on the driveway or wherever the sledge is to land…

On Christmas Eve before bedtime, fill a bowl with oats, glitter and anything shiny - then scatter on the landing pad! Reindeer enjoy oats and the glitter attracts their attention.

Gracie Harcombe - Lead Child Coach

I use the Mantra, 'I am blessed and everything is how it is meant to be'. I then take a long deep breath imagining that I am letting go of any negative distractions as I breathe out, and bringing in positivity as I breathe in.

Gwen Bonpaix - Child Coach

As for staying present, something I do (and manage to stick to):

Whilst I'm doing daily activities, such as going for walks or eating, I try to stay off my phone and give myself little games to make sure I'm appreciating what I'm doing.

If I'm going for a walk, I will pick my favourite tree or house. Or when I'm eating (especially something I haven't made), I will try to work out if I can taste the different ingredients.

Apollonya Cheesmar - Child coach

I stay present by focusing on my body and how it feels. I pay attention to the sensations I feel, this helps clear my mind. Try breaking it down to each body part, there’s a saying: ‘You are where your toes are’.

Mattia Centaro - Child Coach

As for me, I recently started to practice "Being in the moment" by listening to my surroundings while I am walking. This can happen in any context of my days, capturing the first sound of the environment and focusing on it until it disappears.

If there are too many sounds, I try to stick with the first one that I have heard, while if there is no particular sound that is picked up from my mind I focus on my breathing while walking.

Chloe Edwards - Child Coach

I stay in the present by doing fun activities as a family. We like to do puzzles, play board games, and sometimes settle down for a Christmas movie together.

Dr Mike Richardson - Chief Medical Officer

I have found yoga helpful. I love the deep relaxation of lying still becoming aware of the tension in my body and letting it go as I breathe. Having tuned into my body and breathing and knowing that I can relax my mind, I can also notice when the tension is creeping back and my focus is wandering. I can then find relaxation in lots of gentle daily activities like walking or sitting, even sometimes working.

If that is too much, box breathing is a great tool.

Emma Thompson - Chief Operating Officer

Staying present for me is:

Playing sports with the kids, indoor or outdoor, we always get a ball out to connect.
Eating together and with friends, a time when the family comes together around the table to enjoy traditions such as a chocolate fountain, cheese fondue or pull crackers.
Chatting and laughing with old friends. they know me best and always keep me present and grounded.

Cameron Pugh - Project Manager

Hot & Cold Exposure. A few times a week I like to implement this into my routine to clear my mind and focus.
Both the cold plunge/shower and sauna cause a noticeable increase in heart rate as the body tries to heat or cool itself. Training the body and mind to remain calm under the stress of hot/cold environments and pushing through the discomfort gives me a sense of control and presence.
- I usually do these two things after exercising and If I’m feeling brave, I might do it first thing in the morning while showering.
- Doing something you don’t want to do like cold showering helps build subconscious resilience, perfect for helping to tackle some of life’s daily challenges. The sauna is a great way to focus on being present, it requires you to focus on deep breathing helping you to control your heart rate.
- While it may not feel fun at the moment, both exercises cause a release of chemicals in the body such as dopamine. This is something that helps to lift your mood and make you feel more energised.
  P.S. The hotter/colder the better!

Dr Justin Wilson - Member of the Clinical Advisory Team

I take time to focus on my breathing, run in nature, consider my blessings with gratitude, try to eat mindfully, play the guitar and sing!

I reflect on the hermit's answer to the Emperor's three questions (Tolstoy):

When is the most important time? Now.
Who is the important person? The person you are with. (Including when you are by yourself)
What is the most important thing to do? To care.

Dr Alexandra Streeter - Member of the Clinical Advisory Team

To keep myself present and prevent the overwhelm, I try and look outside myself and the endless to-do list. In the morning driving to work, I look out at the beauty and simplicity of nature whilst in the evening I think of 3 simple things I am grateful for.

Ana Pereira - Lead Psychologist

The way I practice being grounded and in the present is by developing awareness and practising gratitude.

I like to wake up early so I can have some 'me time' to appreciate the silence and the sky; love to go for walks by the river so I can be reminded that as the water in the river, life does not stop, it flows; I try to have some family time every day, and this usually happens around dinner time, and that's one of my favourite ways of practising gratitude - I absolutely love that moment where we all get together to cook dinner and share our struggles and victories for the day while laughing, singing (there is always music in the house!!) and realising that we have many more blessings to count for than we realise!

Every night I go to bed and give thanks for all the blessings I have, and remind myself that tomorrow is always a new day!

Ella Jamieson - Social Media & Community Co-ordinator

I repeat this mantra in my head whenever I begin to feel overwhelmed or overthink about future issues outside of my control: 'Take every day as it comes.' It helps me to stay present and focus on today's tasks or challenges.

Max Hughes-Williams - Digital Growth Manager

I’m very philosophical so I tend to use maxims, sayings, and catchy witticisms to remind myself to be present.

Lately, I’ve been using the phrase ‘You never cross the same river twice’ to remind myself that even the mundane everyday instances are unique moments in time that should be treasured and enjoyed.’

Hannah Uren - 3D Animator

For me I like to somehow involve myself in nature.

That might be doing some gardening or just feeding the birds, but nature always seems to help slow me down when it feels like I am always in a rush to do things. It helps me think clearly and appreciate the small things that can often go overlooked.

Emma Flynn - Creative Lead

Here is how I practise mindfulness:
When life seems overwhelming and everything feels like it’s closing in, I take a step outside.

Not for the air or the sunlight, but to pay attention to the life that continues outside of my little world. I listen to the birds chirping and I look at the ants marching.

So much life thrives and continues even when it feels like the world is ending. It’s all a matter of perspective and it helps to remind yourself of that every now and then.

Maurice Edelson - CEO & Co-Founder

For me, practising mindfulness is something I find difficult. As you know I have 3 very active and busy daughters, a business’ and generally a social and busy life.

For me, my mind seems to be constantly working, thinking, and scheming. I often get into bed and work through my day wondering what I have not got to and what I need to get to tomorrow, and when I wake up I feel like it just continues or if it even stopped while sleeping.

Like many, I have apps and smartwatches that tell me my sleep is poor or good when I need to move and honestly I guess this just adds to the “restlessness” and the constant whirring of the cogs in my brain…

My best and most mindful time of the day would be early in the morning. Normally before the sun is up (now in winter). I get up, the house is quiet and peaceful. I start with my animals in the kitchen (1 x dog and 1 x Cat) always happy to see me.

No questions and not expecting anything but breakfast………coffee for me and I am ready. Loxley (My labradoodle) and I set off in the dark. It feels like I am the first up and everyone is still asleep, it feels like everything is brand new and I am unwrapping the day. As we walk I have my airpods in and listen to 80’s music and slowly the sun rises, and the day starts.

Nothing I do will stop it and I have no ability to change or have an effect on what is happening as the day wakes up. For me it is my time, it is peaceful and sets me up for the day. It gives me a chance to hit the reset button.

Patric McKeown - 3D Animator

I find the most effective way for me to process all of my current tasks and challenges, as well as better understand my mental state, is to go for a run in the forest or on the mountain.

This is when I am most in touch with my thoughts and able to really clear my head. I come back from my runs feeling much more present and mindful of the people around me.

Isabella Cockcroft - Designer

The way I stay present is to firstly, wiggle my toes. Feeling overwhelmed in my head and thoughts sometimes makes me forget about the rest of my body that I am living in.

So I take a look down at my feet (while still wiggling my toes) and I thank them for taking me places and for keeping me grounded. I then take 3 deep breaths and really try to listen to the sound of my breath and I remind myself to enjoy the little things and the beauty in life and to not be distracted by my phone.

Take a moment every now and then to just thank your body for getting you where you are today.

Phil Ireland - Creative Adviser

For myself, staying present in the moment with my family during holidays means I have to remove a lot of the distractions that would normally pull my attention away.

So instead of just turning work devices off, I do a scheduled check-in every morning and evening to reassure myself that all is under control, which enables me to relax and be with everyone more fully.

Barclay Gauld - Chief Technology Officer

These are a few things from me:

We do no phones at the table for mealtimes.
Jot stuff down if I’m in the middle of something and I need to stop – so I don’t take it with me and can focus on what we are doing together.
I also like to remind myself of the physical things, to smell the smells of a meal, to feel the textures of the table etc…

This Christmas put away the devices, and the distractions, and be present with those close to you. For a New Year’s resolution, we recommend making time to be present whenever you can.

From everyone here at Anxend. We wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Please share this blog and help us spread the message of being present.

Bonus content:

We’ve teamed up with the rapping science teacher Matt Green to spread our message to young people. Share his rap and help encourage the children and young people in your life to put down their devices this Christmas.